How do you bypass anti theft in a 2005 cadillac sts?

the anti theft has my cadillac sts locked up how can i get it fixed WITHOUT having it towed and WITHOUT having the dealer do it or a lock smith i looked on a forum and theres a tiny secret button to reset it? or something but i couldn't find it so what do i do and i dont wanna hear go to the dealer call a lock smith and that's bs what can i do MYSELF to fix it